Today I turned 45 although, on most days, I genuinely feel about 15 years younger.
It was a weird thing yesterday, filling out a tour waiver here in Mexico and realizing it was the last time I could truthfully check off the 25-44 age bracket box.
Ive never been one to make a big deal out of my birthdays. But this one seems somehow significant, as if Im entering a new phase in my life and ongoing personal evolution.
Feeling strangely contemplative, I came up with these 45 pieces of advice I would include in a letter to my younger self:
1) Youre good enough. Anyone who tells you different is just a jerk.
2) If you want something, just ask. The worst thing anyone can say in response is no.
3) Patience and persistence ultimately pay off. But they usually do so very slowly.
4) Dont let anyone ever tell you your dreams are out of reach. Only YOU know your full potential.
5) Dreams do come true. But dreams are nothing without action. Dream it, then DO it!
6) Fear is a wolf. Chase the wolf, and youll never be afraid of the things you once feared.
7) Smile more, worry less. Positivity is infectious, and happiness is a choice.
8) Life is called a rat race, but remember that its a marathon and not a sprint.
9) Dont ever judge yourself in comparison to others. Instead, judge yourself against what you know youre capable of.
10) Love is all you need. But sometimes even love is not enough. Know when to say when.
11) You cant change anyone, except yourself. Conversely, be wary of anyone who tries to change you to suit their ideal.
12) Write things down. Youll be amazed how many great ideas you forget!
13) Celebrate your victories in life even the small ones.
15) Dont worry about getting knocked down. Instead, focus on getting back up as quickly as possible.
16) The family youre born with ultimately isnt as important as the family you choose. Choose wisely!
17) The people who truly love you dont see all the flaws you see. Learn to see yourself through their eyes.
18) The scars you cant see are worse than those you can. Heal them, and youll heal yourself.
19)Dont think so much. Sometimes its OK to just BE.
21) Dont look for a partner who makes you happy; look for someone who makes you want to be your best self.
22) Karma is circular: What goes around comes around. Put out into the Universe the positive energy you seek in return.
23) The road less traveled is not always easy, but its never boring.
24) Dont wait to learn from your own mistakes. Watch, listen, and learn from the mistakes of others.
25) Once you admit that you truly know nothing, lifes real education begins.
26) Parenthood isnt that difficult.Ask yourself, What would I have wanted my parents to do? And then do that.
27) Its great to have goals. Just remember that theres always more than one path to achieving them.
28) Nobody ever made history by playing it safe. Be bold!
29) Never stop learning. Learning= growth= youth.
30) Treat life as an adventure. On their deathbeds, people usually regret the things they DIDNT do.
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31) Enjoy the frivolity of youth while you can, for it will be gone sooner than you think.
32) Youre never quite as smart as you think you are, nor as rich or thin as you want to be.
33) Dont let the highs get too high or the lows get too low. The key to happiness lies in the balance.
34) Never forget where you come from. Let the past keep you grounded and humble.
35) Dont let failure get you down. Look for the learning opportunity in every bad situation.
36) If you dont have a serious passion for what youre doing, do something else instead. Lifes too short to work just for the money.
37) When a door closes, leave it closed. Theres always an open window just around the corner.
38) I cant becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. In truth, youll never know until you try.
39) Listen to all advice and criticism that comes your way, but know when to ignore it completely.
40) Take your business seriously, but not yourself.
41) Take time to think before you speak, because you cant take words back. In moments of heightened tension, think twice.
42) Happiness isnt just the most important thing in life; its the only thing that matters.
43) Invest yourself only in those willing to invest themselves in you. Toxic people and takers will suck your energy dry.
44) Learn to accept the unconditional love you deserve, and to give it tenfold in return.
45) No matter how old you are, its never too late to live the life youve always wanted.
When I wrote this story on a bus in Mexico back in 2013, I had no idea these navel-gazing musings would eventually be read by hundreds of thousands of people around the world.
Today the world seems like a very different place. My daughter is a junior in college, Mary and I recently celebrated our 13th anniversary, and COVID has turned our lives and businesses upside down.
As for me, Im 8 years older. So here are 8 more things I wish I could tell my younger self:
46) They say that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Learning how go to figure out which is which, and how to let go when the time comes, is wisdom that comes with age.
47) Its never too late to get a new lease on life. Starting over may seem scary, but the opportunity to reinvent yourself (or your career) is invigorating.
48) The older you get, the more you begin to recognize the value of good health. You dont have to treat your body as a temple, but its important to treat it with respect, because its the only one you get.
49) Friends are increasingly hard to come by as you age. Making new friends may be silver, and keeping old friends may be gold. But learning to be a friend to yourself is priceless.
50) Turning 50 isnt as scary as you think. And even though the person in the mirror may look a little older and have a few more silver hairs, you still feel like a kid inside.
51) You dont have to be your absolute best every day. In fact, its impossible. But if you keep showing up and doing the best you can, chances are it will get you very far.
52) Losing loved ones is never easy, but it becomes increasingly common as you age. The best way to honor their memory is to keep living your best life.
53) To quote one of my favorite poets, Dylan Thomas, do not go gentle into that good night. Live boldly, dream big, and set impossible goals for yourself. Even if you fail to reach them all, itll still be one helluva ride!
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